Marriage


I’ve realized recently I haven’t shared much about my own experience as a bride. Here’s the details:

Background: My husband Keith and I met at a mutual friend’s production of “Grease”. We only barely knew each other, but ended up sitting next to one another (after a little encouragement from my mom and his sister). After dating for a few years and being separated for all of them {I was in New York and London and he was in Maine}, we decided it was time to get married!

One evening in July 2007, Keith took me out to a lovely seafood dinner in Mystic, CT {which turned out to be the restaurant where my parents had dinner the night they got engaged!}. He had wanted to propose while climbing a mountain or on a hike with spectacular views, but he was waiting for a diagnosis on a swollen, painful knee and I had just sprained my ankle. Instead, we hobbled out to Ender’s Island and watched the sunset. He pulled out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s “Everything But The…” and we ate it with great views of the Long Island Sound. He explained there was duct tape along the bottom of the pint because it had been leaking, so he encouraged me to take it off. Not wanting to get my clothes dirty, I politely refused. After much coaxing, I finally took the tape off and an engagement ring came with it! He told me the ice cream was “Everything But The…RING!”

engagement sunset

The Wedding: Since we were getting married just after I had graduated college and while Keith was still recovering from chemotherapy and radiation, our budget was tight. To make things more challenging, we both come from huge families and wanted the day to be shared with them. We ended up having a simple English Tea reception after the ceremony and made sure everything was personal and intimate.

Research: Anything and everything I could get my hands on! I mostly spent time on TheKnot.com and other similar sights. Google Images was a huge help. Also, all the Davids Bridal catalogues helped me to decide what styles, colors, and aesthetics I liked the most.

Website/Blog: Our wedding website was through Bed Bath & Beyond. Free and customizable.

Photosharing: Snapfish and Facebook.

Gift Registry: Bed Bath & Beyond and Macys

Rehearsal Dinner: Held in a friend’s backyard with catering by friends of the family and an altogether laid back and relaxing atmosphere. Keith re-wrote the words to “When You Say Nothing At All” and sang it to me. So special!

wed33

Ceremony Location & Officiant: Groton Bible Chapel, Groton, CT. Officiant Bob McCoy {my Father In Law}

Reception Location: The Wauregan Ballroom, Norwich, CT

Bridal Party Members:

DSC_6230


DSC_5900_2

  • Todd McCoy {Best Man, Keith’s brother}
  • Jonathan Bayreuther {Keith’s best friend}
  • Dan Widlicka {Keith’s brother-in-law}
  • Nick Reed {Keith’s cousin}
  • Josh McCoy {Keith’s nephew}
  • Molly Giannattasio {Maid of Honor, my sister}
  • Margaret Nitzel {my college roommate}
  • Gwynne Widlicka {Keith’s sister}
  • Jen McCoy {Keith’s sister-in-law}
  • Maggie McCoy {Keith’s niece}
  • Avery Widlicka {Keith’s niece}

Flowers: Fresh flowers done by a local gardner. My bridesmaids and I carried hydrangeas and roses. Since pink hydrangeas weren’t in season, the woman who did the flowers sprayed them pink with floral spray. The guys wore hydrangea and rose boutonnieres with gorgeous leaves to contrast the flowers. The two flower girls carried baskets of sweet william potted plants. The reception flowers were mostly wildflowers in vases that we bought on sale at A.C.Moore, Michaels, and Joann Fabric. The ceremony had silk flowers donated by the woman who does the arrangements for the church. The total came just under $200 for all of the flowers. See more pictures of our flowers in these two posts: Silk Flowers and Fresh Flowers.

Music: For the ceremony, we had Keith’s aunt play a selection of hymns arranged by Chris Rice. I walked down the aisle to “For The Beauty of The Earth”. During our lighting of the unity candle and time for prayer, my friend joined her on violin to play “Great is Thy Faithfulness”. It was really lovely. We exited the ceremony to Henry Purcell’s “Trumpet Voluntary” for piano and trumpet. The reception music was simply a playlist on an iPod.

First Dance: “1000 Miles” by Mark Schultz
DSC_6384

Caterer: Jen Sanford with Bonne Bouche Catering out of Wenham, MA. Friends of ours work for her and she is an incredible person to work with! Her menu consisted of tea sandwiches of several varieties as well as lots of other yummy finger foods appropriate for our English Tea.

Cake: A gift from a family friend. White cake with a raspberry filling. Decorated with dark brown ribbon, roses, and hydrangea. In the July heat it started to melt a little bit, but it still tasted good!
DSC_6430

Bridal Party Gifts: We gave each of our bridal party members a framed picture of us as well as individual gifts such as gift certificates, trinkets, books, coffee, and soaps/lotions. We gave the flower girls lockets and the ring bearer his own personal ice cream bowl and spoons.

Guest Favors: Since not everyone at the ceremony was able to attend the reception, we handed out favors along with the ceremony programs. Each guest got a small heart-shaped cookie cutter {eBay for $0.50 per piece} with our theme verse: “The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy.” Psalm 126:3

wed144

Pictures: By Sheila Emsheimer of Ian Puwluk Photography, assisted by my aunt. Portraits were taken at the Connecticut College Arboretum in New London, CT. Engagement photos by Keith’s sister Gwynne at Bluff Point in Groton, CT.

DSC_6333

Rings: All three of our rings were bought from a local jeweler who works out of his home. My engagement ring is a solitaire and our wedding bands are simple white gold {mine has small diamonds on the top}.
DSC_6296

Invitations: From Wilton, Simple Yet Elegant in Ivory. We used thin brown ribbon instead of the white provided and since we printed them at home, it cost just over $1 per invitation {including stamps and ink}.

Wedding Dress: From Davids Bridal. I did not like the picture in the catalogue, but once I saw this dress in person, I knew it was the one!

Bridal Party Outfits: The bridesmaids and flower girl dresses were from Davids Bridal. The guys wore basic tuxedos from Mens Wearhouse.

Bridal Shoes and Accessories: My shoes were simple heeled sandals on sale at JCPenny. The bridesmaids wore Payless sandals died off white. All jewelry was found at Kohls.

Honeymoon: A weekend at The Norwich Inn & Spa and then a week at a family member’s lake house in Ashford, CT.

Thank You Cards: Within a few weeks of the wedding, I sent out the thank you cards since we were about to move and start graduate school. We picked our favorite portrait from the wedding and secured it to the front of an ivory colored blank card {found at Michaels}. This way, our guests got a picture of us from the wedding as well as our gratitude.

Wedding Book: I used Blurb.com to create our own wedding book as well as smaller ones for our parents and grandparents. They pricing was very reasonable!

Blog: Soon after we got married, all of our other friends did too. As an effort to catalogue all my ideas and methods for planning a wedding, I started this blog. I hope it will help other brides gather ideas and encouragement for elegant weddings under a tight budget!

Funny Moments: We forgot to give the bridal party directions to the photography location, so some of them took quite a bit of time getting from the ceremony to pictures. Before the ceremony, I locked my keys in my car – everything was in there except for my dress! Keith’s brother found out the week before that we were calling our wedding day “Happy Naked Day” and honored it by making us t-shirts which he presented during his toast. There were many other crazy and unpredictable moments, but they made the day that much more memorable.

wed101

Over a year later, we look fondly on our wedding day and are so thankful to have shared our marriage with so many people! We look forward to the adventures ahead.

DSC_6334

If I’ve forgotten to mention anything, feel free to ask: wintheweddinggame@gmail.com

Last month I wrote this post highlighting fabulous invitations I’ve received and weddings I’ve been looking forward to. My friend Emily’s wedding was the perfect example of a gorgeous and elegant wedding on a tight budget. Almost everything was done by hand.Emily & Riley Ceremony 1

Emily’s mom (escorted by her brother). She wore a beautiful flowing navy blue skirt with a simple cotton periwinkle colored top. All the men wore khaki pants, blue shirts, and navy blazers with a sharp blue plaid tie. The boutonnieres were all wildflowers grown locally.

Emily & Riley Ceremony 2

The bridesmaids all wore simple green dresses with brightly colored flowers. They all looked beautiful and were comfortable in the July heat!

Emily & Riley Tables 4

Since Emily & Riley both graduated from the United States Coast Guard Academy, the ceremony was held there. The reception, however, was laid back and casual and took place along an inlet in Emily’s parents’ neighbor’s yard. The location was completely serene and gave its natural beauty to the day. A few simple white tents added to the elegance and we completely forgot we were in a back yard!

Emily & Riley Tables 2

The tents were festively adorned with ivy and provided shade over the beautifully decorated tables.

Emily & Riley Tables 3

Each table had a basket of homemade biscuits along with floral arrangements in mason jars. While a local flower expert created the ceremony flowers, Emily’s sister used her artistic talents to add elegance to the day.

Emily & Riley Tables 1

The drinks were served from large mason jars into simple cups. Friends of the family helped the caterer (another family friend) by serving drinks and hors d’oeuvres to guests.

Emily & Riley Boathouse 1

The most ingenuity and creativity was put to work on the boathouse. I spoke with the owner and she said before Emily’s family got to it, this old shed was the grimiest of any boat shed. The Holts cleaned it from top to bottom and repainted to provide a quaint, shaded area to serve food.

Emily & Riley Boathouse

One long table adorned with greens and flowers was the perfect spot for the food!

Emily & Riley Boathouse 3

Outside the boathouse, a chalkboard listed the menu for the day.

Emily & Riley Boathouse 2

Emily’s family even found this old sideboard and refinished it to house another drink station.

Emily & Riley Ceremony

Riley & Emily had a gorgeous afternoon and did a wonderful job planning a lovely wedding on a budget!

Emily & Riley

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Matsco!!

I just stumbled upon this fabulous blog: New Life as New Wife

New Wife is all about transitioning away from “bride” and towards “wife”. I especially enjoyed the post “5 Steps To Move Past Wedding Mode”.

I’ve also added New Life as New Wife to my favorite links on the right column.

I have added a couple books to the “Books to Read” section on the right hand navigation bar!

Please let me know what books you suggest as well…
Here are two great marriage resources Keith and I have discovered:

The iMarriage Series by Andy Stanley

We have been doing this study with our small group through church. We have found it both challenging and encouraging. Not to mention, Andy Stanley has a way of stating reality with wonderful humor. 

Giddy with excitement and burning with love’s fire, engaged couples are filled with desires and expectations! Wonder and eager anticipation propel them forward. Then comes the marriage and if they take the wrong approach, those unrealized expectations and unmet wants can turn a life-giving covenant relationship into a dead-end contractual agreement. Suddenly your marriage has no love, joy, or peace. In this marriage-makeover DVD and study guide from Northpoint Resources, Andy Stanley ’s three key teachings help you transform your expectations and examine the “I’s” of marriage: “Keeping My ‘I’ On You,” “Putting Your ‘I’ Out,” and “It Takes Three.” Broken into six DVD sessions with discussion questions, this is one lesson your marriage won’t survive without. 







The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb

Friends recommended this book to us and it’s been great! Larry Crabb changes our perspective of marriage and our roles within it. The greatest thing we’ve learned is that we either minister or manipulate each other. What a great conviction!

Psychologist Larry Crabb cuts to the heart of the biblical view of marriage: the “one-flesh” relationship. He argues convincingly that the deepest needs of human personality — security and significance — ultimately cannot be satisfied by a marriage partner. We need to turn to the Lord, rather than our spouse, to satisfy our needs. This frees both partners for “soul oneness,” a commitment to minister to our spouse’s needs rather than manipulating them to meet our own needs. With “soul oneness” comes renewed “body oneness,” where couples enjoy sexual pleasure as an expression and outgrowth of a personal relationship. The Marriage Builder also identifies three building blocks essential to constructing marriage: the grace of God, true marriage commitment, and acceptance of one’s mate. Now for the first time, discussion questions have been added to aid couples who want to come to deeper understanding of marriage. Helpful to counselors and laypersons alike, The Marriage Builder is for anyone who longs to transform marriage from trial to triumph. 

Almost 3 months after getting married, wedding season isn’t over yet! Keith and I have attended many weddings of our friends this summer into fall and it’s been quite an experience. As a married couple, weddings are much more relaxing, but it’s easy to remember the stress and anxiety of the weddings we attended during our engagement!!

So…this is a blog in order to detail my experience of planning a wedding and settling into marriage. Throughout the planning process, my mom and I joked we were playing “The Wedding Game” — we would plan the most inexpensive wedding we could, without our guests knowing! 
Our goal was challenged by the fact that I had just graduated college, so the budget was tight, and both my husband and I are part of big families, so there weren’t many ways to keep the guest list small!!! 
The following blog entries will be my recollections of the problems and solutions we discovered while playing “the game”. 
Please feel free to leave comments of your own experiences!!!